Xander chuckled pleasantly as he curled around the body pillow that Ezra and Vin had gotten. They had doused it with the scents that Xander had mentioned they smelt like, and presented the large green pillow to him the day they left. He loved to cuddle things in his sleep, and now he could cuddle all he liked, even if he did prefer to cuddle his lovers instead. Halloween was a few days off, and it was time to make the final changes to Ray’s costume. Xander was already going as Faith, and he smirked at the fact that being five foot eight was a good height to kick ass in.
Since Faith was leathers and Doc Martins, Xander simply smiled as he got his outfit placed in the spare room across the hall from him, where Ray’s costume was hanging as well. Ray was going to be dressed in an autumn dress that would show off the right assets. He had gotten a few girls in on the gig, and they were surprised that Xander was the one that would be helping Ray out. The five would show up two hours before school, and Xander would get them ready for a prank of magnificent proportions.
He also promised to take pictures and to set up a video so that Ray could go back and laugh at what happened that day, and Xander would get proof that many of the people at the labs were horn dogs. It was going to be fun.
Xander waved goodbye to Ray as he and the girls walked to school. Ray did make a very pretty girl when it came together, and he was glad that he had taught Cordelia’s mannerisms and fighting skills to the boy. Putting on his outfit in ten minutes, Xander was fussing with the wig when the doorbell rang. Seeing that it was Yelina, Xander smiled.
“Hello Yelina” Xander used his best Faith voice and smirked at seeing her shocked expression.
Chuckling, he led her inside, and showed off the pictures that he took that morning of before and after. The awe in her eyes made the hour fight to get Ray to wear the dress worth it. The fact that the girls had helped made it bearable. With that done, Xander fastened his wig to his head and winked at Yelina.
“So, you’ll help me get in and have the receptionist know that I am Xander, not a biker chick?” Yelina might have thought that is was odd listening to Xander’s voice coming out of a beautiful girl’s mouth, but went with it.
“You are going to tease the boys, aren’t you.” Her voice was flat and Xander batted his lashes.
“Sweetie, I’m going to tease everyone, after I let Alexx and Calleigh know that it’s me.”
“Not Horatio?” An eyebrow rose.
“Nope, he gets to be teased. Can you do me a favor? Take a picture of Rick’s face when I do it to him?” The laugh was worth it, and if not, the video would be even better.
Walking over to his bike, Xander let out a wicked chuckle as he rode to work. His ensemble was already tested, and he knew that it would stand up to his normal driving speed. Getting off the bike at the Lab, Xander sauntered over to Yelina and allowed her to get the receptionist on their side for the joke. Winking at the flabbergasted Dan Cooper, Xander made his way to the morgue where he had asked Calleigh and Alexx to wait for him.
Upon seeing them, Xander just had to let Faith out to play. He wasn’t sure if he could get a chance to have this much fun again.
“Well hello there ladies.”
“Who are you and how did you get here?” Calleigh’s voice was flat and brown eyes twinkled.
“Boytoy said I could meet you two here. He even let me take a spin on his bike.”
“I doubt that” Alexx’s voice was stiff, and Xander let the smile fill his face.
“I promise, I mean no harm, now, can we go where there are no cameras.”
Letting them corner him in Alexx’s office, Xander sighed and pulled off the wig. Ignoring their expressions he gave them his best puppy dog eyes and held out the long black hair.
“Can you help me put this on so that it doesn’t itch?”
“You,” Calleigh’s voice was pretty weak, and Xander flashed him his best, I’m not that naughty boy smile.
“So, can you help?” He yelped when Alexx smacked him, and he had to pout, making the pair laugh and him to be pulled up into a hard hug.
“Oh, you are going to turn heads!” Alexx practically squealed as she got the wig to sit on his head properly, and not cause him to itch.
“Now, how do you know how to act and move the way you do?” They both looked curious and Xander gave them a sweet smile.
“Well, most of my friends were girls, so I know how to act, walk and talk through them. Ezra helped me out with how to get speech patterns, and my acting coach had me mix them together. Besides, it’s fun. Wanna help me get the rest of the gang? Yelina knows, because she got me into work today. The receptionist knows, cause I so don’t want to get into too much trouble. I managed to make Cooper drool by winking at him earlier, and now both of you know.”
The two women cackled and Xander felt sorry for the lab, well, almost sorry.
Horatio was confused as he walked in the halls. Apparently Xander was nowhere to be found and his friend Faith had come in. A memory tired to assert itself, but disappeared upon seeing the dark haired beauty fighting with Rick.
“Yes, I have a permit to be here! No, I’m not selling anything, and even if I wasn’t you’d get none of it! Also, think on what day it is you unmemorable prick!” Slapping the man in the face, Horatio smirked at Rick as he walked pass and began to follow the woman. He wasn’t prepared for her, however, when she spun around and began to stalk over to him.
“Lieutenant Horatio Caine, I see that Xander left out how hot you were, but I understand why.” She leaned over to whisper in his ear, “I wouldn’t want to take you away from Ryan now would I.”
Stepping back, she winked at him, and he frowned at the words she used. A memory was trying to surface, but for the life of him, Horatio couldn’t figure it out. Stepping into the office, Horatio looked at his calendar and felt the answer hit him like a ton of bricks. Xander wasn’t at home because Faith was here, and since it was Halloween, why not use the minds of a CSI against itself!
Making his way to ballistics, Horatio smirked at the pair of “women” working. Xander really could pull off the whole acting scheme, and he stepped in with a smile.
“Mr Harris, I congratulate you on your choice of costume. I must say, that I never expected you to wear it all day at work.” Xander cackled and held his hand out to Calleigh who pouted.
“H, couldn’t you have waited? Now I owe him fifty bucks!”
“Of course Horatio was gonna figure it out first. Ray is going like a chick today too, and to add onto the fact that no matter how often he calls to have my house checked, Yelina keeps the patrol officers from going, since she knows where I am.” Xander smirked.
“I saw you with Rick this morning, and how do you hide in those pants?”
“Tape and special underwear, Horatio. I’m so glad I got a big tub at home. It’s really gonna hurt to get this stuff off after a long day of sweating and walking about.”
“No, I refused to let him use it. He nearly passed out from the smell of Nair last night, so I’m not going to put too much tape on him, especially down there.”
Horatio nodded and he watched the pair work for a moment before he left to tell the chief not to worry about the young lady that had joined them today. Then he would go corner Ryan and make him forget all about the dark haired woman in leather who was doing Xander’s job. He wondered if Rick could get into trouble for this, since Xander is an employee, and he was harassing him. With that thought, Horatio walked away with a smirk and a spring in his step.
Xander had made it through the day with only the ladies finding out who he was, and Horatio. The fact that everyone else thought he really was a biker chick made them all confused when she showed up at the Halloween party that night at Horatio’s.
It only took a moment for Ryan to finally figure it out and he burst out laughing. Pulling him aside, he had asked if there was any other proof, and Xander had simply smiled and mentioned something about learning a thing or two at the convention.
Horatio called everyone’s attention and Xander made his way up to the stage with Faith’s walk.
“Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to our best disguise. Faith Lehane isn’t a real person, and if you looked into the DMV, you’ll find that she died, seven years ago. Faith, please show everyone who you are.” With a smirk Faith licked her lips and spoke, in a very familiar man’s voice.
“I’m disappointed in all of you. Only H figured out who I was, out of the guys, and all the girls were told. Though, I must say that the women’s washroom is much nicer than that of us guys. Yes, I am dressed as a chick, no this is not the first time, and yes, I did remove excess hair.” He gave them all a wicked smirk.
“You’ve all heard me talking about getting Ray, who is Horatio’s nephew, dressed up like an old girlfriend for Halloween. Today is Halloween, and only Horatio put the pieces together. Though, now I know why women dress like this, I can still kick ass in these pants, even if I can’t feel my ass anymore from all of the pinching.” That got a round of laughs and a wail of discontent from the back.
“But you’re too hot to be a guy!” Came the familiar voice from the back, so Xander took off the wig.
“Damn, I hate wigs. But yes, I can look like the hottest chick, simply because I was surrounded by it growing up.” With a smirk, Xander walked over to Calleigh and sat down, enjoying the shocked looks before everyone began to enjoy the party once more.
“I’m headed home, since the tape is starting to get itchy.” Xander kissed Calleigh’s cheek and slipped out after waving goodnight to Ryan. He truly did enjoy the night, and now, all he had to do was take the outfit off.
The ride home was a bit painful, and Xander was quickly nestled into the tub, after locking up the house. He wanted no distractions as he peeled the tape from his penis and balls, thanking all the gods he could think of that he had thought ahead enough to have shaved first. Once he was freed of the evils of the tape, the falsies went next and he let himself relax in the hot water. He was going to have fun with Rick tomorrow.